Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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