i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize