i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
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Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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