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I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
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