So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize