You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize