his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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