Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize