I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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