Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw a hot homeless man
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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