I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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