im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize