i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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