you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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