mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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