Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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