she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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