for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
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I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
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Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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