Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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