bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You are the jesus of drinking
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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