right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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