Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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