and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize