I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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