dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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