Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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