a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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