I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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