My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
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She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So here I am, sexting at work.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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