The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
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