So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Text me some of your sweat
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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