I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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