So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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