the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize