Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
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So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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