I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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