maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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