What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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