from now on my penis is your penis
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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