Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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