I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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