i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize