my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize