i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize