problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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