On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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