we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize