I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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