where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize