we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it's like iHOP with fire
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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